"You must be the change you wish to see in the world ." - Mahatma Gandhi
General Information and Definition:
Bullying is repeated and systematic abuse and harassment of another and others. A student is being bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time , to negative actions on the part of one or more students.
Bullying implies an imbalance of power or strength.
Bullying behaviors may include but are not limited to:
- Indifference and exclusion
- Invasion of personal space
Bullying can be DIRECT and include:
- Physical: Hitting, kicking, shoving, pushing, spitting or invasion of personal space
- Verbal: Taunting, teasing, name-calling, mimicking or verbal, sexual or racial harrassment.
- Non-verbal: Threatening or obscene gestures.
Bullying can also be INDIRECT and may include:
- Physical: Getting another person to assult or hurt someone.
- Verbal: Spreading rumors
- Non-Verbal: Exclusion from a group or activity, cyberbullying
Facts and Myths About Bullying
Prevalance of Bullying
- Nansel et al. (2001): In a National sample of 15,600 students in grades 6-10, 19% of students reported bullying others "sometimes" or more often during the school term; 17% reported being bullied "sometimes" or more often; and 6.3% reported bullying and being bullied.
- Girls bully just as much as boys; they just do it differently.
- Similarities: Both boys and girls engage in frequent verbal bullying. Girls and boys engage in relational bullying. Differences: Boys are more likely to physically bully. Girls are more likely to use more subtle and indirect forms of bullying: social exclusion, rumor-spreading, friendship manipulation. Boys are bullied primarily by boys; girls are bullied by boys and girls.
- Reporting of Bullying:
- Most students do not report bullying to school staff. Older students and boys are less likely than younger students and girls to report their victimization.
- Bullying effects everyone: Those who are bullied, those who bully, bystanders.
Books and Websites
Schools Where Everyone Belongs by Stan Davis with Julia Davis
Empowering Bystanders by Stan Davis with Julia Davis
www.stopbullyingnow.com (See resource tab on this site for many additional resources)
The Kansas Bullying Prevention Program by Randy Wiler http://www.stopbullyingkansas.org/
Stop Bullying Now Website A variety of great information for students, educators, and parents.
Resources for students and parents to deal with bullies
Beat the Bully On-Line Game
Pacer Kids Against Bullying
Bully Round Up For Kids
Teasing at bus stops, threats on playgrounds, throwing rocks, kicking and shoving - it's all fair play to a bully. Children know who the bullies are long before teachers and parents do. Yet, children do not always tell on bullies. They are afraid the bullying will get worse if they tell or that they might become the next victim if they speak up for someone else.
Children are naturally self-centered, and hurtful remarks are part of conflict at any age. A quarrel or a one-time fight is not bullying. Bullying is when a child is the target of repeated negative actions by someone else. The bully displays more power than the victim does.
What can we do?
Parents and teachers together can stop bullying before someone gets hurt. It is important to teach children bullying prevention strategies, such as:
* ignoring the bully.
* pretending not to hear.
* walking away quickly.
* using body lanquage to look determined, strong, and positive even if you feel frightened.
* Always tell a trusted adult if you are bullied.
* Listen to your children. Encourage them to talk about school, social events and other students in class.
* Take your child's complaints of bullying seriously. Probe even minor complaints. Children are often afraid or ashamed to tell anyone that they are being bullied, so listen to their complaints.
* Tell the school staff immediately, teacher, administrator or counselor so we can monitor the children's activities.
* Don't bully your children physically or verbally. Avoid yelling at your children when they misbehave. Praise their kindness toward others. Let them know that kindness is valued.
* Help your children find ways to manage their anger (exercise, drawing, using clay, talking). Make it clear that bullying behavior will not be tolerated. Please let the counselor know if you feel you need additional support.
* Teach your children ways to solve arguments without violent words or actions.
* Provide healthy, non-violent entertainment.
Parents and schools together can stop the cycle of bullying by providing safe, nuturing environments for all children at school and at home.